If you live with chronic pain, you already know how overwhelming it can feel. The way we think about pain shapes how our nervous system responds, and that’s where reframing comes in. In this guide, you’ll learn what reframing chronic pain really means, why it works and how you can begin today with simple steps. If you’re new to the science behind pain, you may also want to read what chronic pain is and why it persists or explore the fear–pain cycle to see how the nervous system gets stuck in “danger mode.”
What it is
Reframing chronic pain means shifting how you interpret it. Instead of seeing it as proof of damage, you view it as a protective alarm from your nervous system that has become overly sensitive. Pain is always real, but it doesn’t always equal harm.
Why it helps
Reframing works because of neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to change and form new connections, no matter your age. Living with pain often teaches the brain to send strong “danger” messages. However, you can create new pathways, just like the old ones formed. Each time you give pain a safer meaning, you strengthen new pathways of calm and weaken the old pathways of fear. Over time, the new messages grow louder and the old ones grow quieter.
My experience
At first, the impact and simplicity of this tool amazed me. I sat down and examined my inner dialogue when I was in pain, which was every day. So I put on paper a few messages that passed through my mind: “Why does it hurt so much?” “I will never get better.” “Will I feel this for the rest of my life?” Then I realised these questions were making me feel really bad. On top of the symptoms, I was also carrying the bitterness of my self-talk.
Then I decided to reframe them, as the method suggests. This practice is called reframing chronic pain. The ache was still there doing its job of protecting me, but I needed to remind it with evidence that we are safe. So I started scanning and remembered that yesterday I felt better – proof that the discomfort differs from one day to another. If it can lessen, it can also shrink into disappearance. Perhaps I will experience this suffering for many more days, but since I know my body is healthy, I must adjust something else. I talked to myself, working on the message – not denying the existence of the symptoms, but calming my body with reminders that we are safe.
With this practice, I realised that when the symptoms ease, they leave behind lessons I can carry. In time, with the right method, they can let go, maybe even forever. This is how I shifted the way I was addressing my condition: not just repeating a phrase that someone told me, but understanding why it needs to shift and what that brings of value to my life.
How to start today
Here are some simple ways to begin reframing chronic pain in daily life.
- Try phrases like: “It hurts, but I’m safe right now,” or “My body is protecting me, not punishing me.”
- Pair the phrase with a slow breath: inhale normally, then exhale a little longer, as if you’re gently letting the air out through a straw.
- Use reframing during flare-ups, before bed or before moving when fear is high.
- Keep it light: don’t force it, don’t shout it, don’t obsess over it. A calm reminder is enough.
Welcome to Your First Session: Reframing Chronic Pain
Living with pain can be tough. Some days it hangs in the background; on other days it surges out of nowhere. This session is a gentle space to practice new responses to pain – practical ways to calm fear and signal safety to your nervous system.
You’ll step through four rooms, each with a different method. You don’t have to master them all. Just try the one that feels right for you today.
Room 1: The Alarm System Method
Goal: See pain as protection, not proof of damage.
Welcome. Let’s start gently. Imagine stepping into a room where you can put down fear for a moment and see pain differently. You’re not here to fight it, only to understand it. Pain is real, but it isn’t a measure of injury. It’s your body’s protective alarm, sometimes set too high. Like any alarm, it can go off even when you’re safe.
Try this now:
- Recall a flare-up or notice the one you may be in right now.
- Say to yourself:
- ‘All pain is real, but not all pain means harm.’
- ‘This is my body protecting me, not proof of damage.’
- ‘It hurts, but it’s safe to move a little.’
- Add one slow breath: breathe in normally through your nose, then make your exhale gently longer than the inhale – as if you’re slowly letting the air out through a straw.
Good practice: Speak kindly to yourself. No need to repeat it forcefully or many times. Even one gentle reminder can shift the signal.
Encouragement: Pain is not a damage report. Protection can soften when safety is restored.
Room 2: The Thought Flip Method
Goal: Ease catastrophic thoughts and replace them with calmer, more useful ones.
Welcome back. Here, we focus on the way thoughts shape pain. Think of this as a safe table where you can set down your heaviest thoughts and gently turn them over to see their lighter side. When pain spikes, your mind might rush to worst-case scenarios: ‘This will never stop. I can’t live like this.’ These thoughts add weight to what you already feel. However, you can flip them into something lighter.
Practice:
- Write one difficult thought you often have during pain.
- Example: ‘This pain will ruin my day.’
- Write a more balanced reframe.
- Example: ‘This pain is strong, but I can still do one thing to support myself.’
- Read the new phrase out loud, once or twice, in a calm tone.
Examples to try:
- “This flare is temporary.”
- “I can still influence how I feel.”
- “I’ve had pain before and found ways through.”
- “This moment is tough, but it will shift.”
Good practice: Don’t argue with the catastrophic thought or try to erase it. Just offer your brain an alternative message to lean on.
Encouragement: Softening a thought is enough to give you back a little control.
Room 3: The False Alarm Method
Goal: Teach your brain that sensations can be safe.
Welcome in. Take a breath and imagine this room as a quiet corner where you can look at pain without fear. Nothing to fix, nothing to chase away – just observing safely. Fear keeps pain loud. But if you can look at a sensation directly, without running from it, you can remind yourself you’re safe.
Practice:
- Close your eyes and notice where the pain is.
- Describe it simply, without judgment: ‘There’s a tightness in my back.’
- Add a safety message:
- ‘This is uncomfortable, but not dangerous.’
- ‘My brain is sending a false alarm.’
- ‘I can let this sensation be here without fear.’
- Take a slow, calm breath; let the exhale be a little longer, releasing tension as if you’re gently sighing.
Good practice: Observe with curiosity, not pressure. If your focus becomes obsessive or panicky, shift gently to your breath or another safe sensation, like your feet on the floor.
Encouragement: With practice, the brain learns that not every signal needs to be feared.
Room 4: Your Own Phrase Method
Goal: Build a personal safety phrase you can carry everywhere.
Welcome to the last room. This is your space, your words, your anchor. Here, you’ll create a phrase that feels like a friend you can carry with you. Reframing works best when the words feel natural. A short phrase, easy to repeat, becomes an anchor in difficult moments.
Examples to inspire you:
- “It hurts, but I’m safe right now.”
- “This pain is real, but it’s not harm.”
- “My body is strong enough for gentle movement.”
- “This flare will pass.”
Write your own phrase now. Say it once in a calm voice. Pair it with a slow breath or a small stretch.
Good practice: Choose words you believe. Don’t force them or use phrases that feel false. Gentle repetition over time is what makes the message sink in.
Encouragement: Returning to your phrase strengthens a safer story for your nervous system.
One last note on the four rooms
Each room revolves around the same idea: pain can be reframed as protection, not as proof of damage. What changes is only the way we approach it: through phrases, thoughts, observation or creating our own anchor.
I shared four methods because people respond differently. For some, a phrase works best; for others, writing or observing sensations feels more natural. None of the rooms is better than the others. They all lead to the same place: helping the nervous system feel safer and loosening the grip of fear.
The important part is not which door you walk through, but that you step inside and try.
Before you go
Reframing chronic pain means teaching your brain to link pain with safety instead of fear.
It works because of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change, even in adulthood. Each time you practice, you’re sending a calmer message. With repetition, your nervous system begins to trust that message.
Some days the reframe will come easily; other days it won’t. Both are normal. What matters is that every time you practice, you’re helping your system find a steadier, safer way forward.
Be kind to yourself and stay curious.
If you got this far,
Get Support in Your Inbox
Subscribe to the newsletter and let me help you turn confusion into clarity. The PDF I have prepared is a guide that will help you organise all the elements of your condition: symptoms, treatments and impact, so you can understand your pain behaviour. This is truly important when it comes to explaining it to healthcare professionals, loved ones and yourself.
“Clinical Clarity Workbook – A map for precise diagnosis“
Until next time,
Alina